Levels of Soul
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Yechida Universal Soul- yearning to love Hashem
Chaya Collective Soul- sense of self transcendence
Neshama Meaningful Thought- sense of an ideal
Ruach Meaningful Speech- sense of truth
Nefesh Meaningful Action- sense of good and bad
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Animalistic Soul Life Force-consciousness of needs for survival
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(^read from the bottom up^)
In this chapter, there is a lot of technical stuff- terminology, etc. Some of the lines drawn between one level of soul and the next, to me, are very fuzzy. I might actually have put some of the levels together, like meaningful action and meaningful speech. This chapter isn't really concrete, and I have to be honest and say that I didn't really get into it. However, I will try to give you the basic ideas. The problem is, that involves a lot of quotes.....
Level 1
"The Kabbalah tells us that, of the 5 levels of the soul, the first 3 can be understood as degrees of light that enter our bodies. The last 2 levels of soul can be understood as light that encompasses us. The soul is both an inner light- immanent- and an outer, encompassing light- transcendent. The first level of soul, called nefesh, gives you an intuitive knowledge that you could not get from the external world. This kind of knowledge feels very deep and very real, as something that you know from inside yourself. You intuit that your actions can be meaningful. If someone said to you, 'Show me meaning. Pick it up. Put it in a box,' you wouldn't be able to do it. And yet you are sure that when you give money to a needy person that this act of charity is meaningful. How do you know that? How can you prove it? You can't put your action under a microscope and examine it physically. But that doesn't matter to you personally, because you experienced what you did as meaningful. You know this from inside yourself. So your nefesh gives you the sense that your actions can be meaningful. And not only that, it also gives you the sense that your actions should be meaningful."
Now, people can take this and say that most of our lives are not meaningful. We aren't building homes for the homeless, we aren't on our knees 24/7 praying, we aren't donating bone marrow on the weekend, etc. I would tend to disagree. There is always meaning. You just have to look for it.
Take factory work. One person doing the same thing over and over and over and over and... all day. One might say, "That is not meaningful work. How can he do that day after day?" They could ask him, and be surprised by his response. He's putting food on the table for his family. He's making a living, he's actually working hard. Providing is meaningful. And go the other way; if he's working on a car assembly line, and doesn't do his job properly, there could be a problem serious enough with the car that the owner could get into a crash. If you don't do what you know to be your job, it affects other people. And that is nefesh to me. A chain reaction. Do something good, affect a life in a positive way, and you are an example the receiver will carry. Same goes the other way. And just look at the case with the car. You can apply that to almost everything.
"To toil without meaning, to lead a life without meaning, is the greatest torture you can endure because it attacks the soul, not just the body. A human being cannot live this way. He will lose his will to live; he will get sick and die. Or he will obliterate his feelings with drugs and alcohol. Or he will struggle to break away to find something that gives him even a shred of meaning."
( Prisoners, according to the author, are told to do meaningless work. Dig a hole and fill it. Move rocks from here to there. I never knew that. I wonder if it bothers them.)
"In addition to meaning, the nefesh gives us an awareness of good and bad. It makes us want to feel that we are good... And if we should do something that is bad, then the nefesh demands that we justify our actions. That is why we search so hard for motivation behind the acts of criminals. How could he have murdered his father? It must have been in self defense. Or he was on drugs and didn't know what he was doing. Or he was insane. An act that seems to have no justification we tend to label as irrational."
I don't do this with criminals. I wonder why, and then see there was no good reason. There was no good 'why'. I was part of a team at school, in my American Government class, to reinstate the death penalty. So many get away with pleading insanity, or are given shorter terms, etc. And we wonder why we have repeat offenders. I do this, though, with people I am close to. Those people, I want to find a way to make better. They did this? Well it's because of this in their childhood, they're going through hard times, they were pressured, they were trying to impress this person, etc. The truth is, some people don't think. And none of us think all the time. Beware of your actions when your decision making skills aren't at their peak.
Level 2
"Ruach gives us a sense of truth... And with the sense of truth comes a feeling that words can convey this truth, whatever it is. This goes along with the idea that just as our actions have meaning, so our words have meaning. ... Did you ever wonder why a magician, just before he pulls a rabbit from an empty hat, says, 'Abracadabra'? Abra Kadavra is Hebrew, and it means 'I will create with words.' Hocus pocus' is pseudo-Latin for the same thing."
I believe this is self-explanatory. Look at all great leaders throughout history. Count how many speeches they gave. When you are accused of something, is your first reaction to defeat this accusation with how you act, or is it to defend yourself with your words?
Level 3
"At age 20, according to Kabbalah, we reach the level called neshama, and the neshama knows there is meaning not just in good and bad actions, and words, but in thought, although abstract. When we connect to the neshama, we begin to recognize the value of ideas and ideals. The Midrash says that before the neshama comes into the world, it's taken to the Garden of Eden and shown the rewards of performing it's mission. It then takes an oath that it's going to be the best it can be. So we come into this world with a sense of mission- an ideal self to strive for. This is why simply doing the right thing and avoiding the wrong thing doesn't satisfy us. We want to do more than just what is right. We want to understand our unique role in this world."
I believe I reached this level before 20, and I think a lot of others did/do. It may be because we're in a time where 'deep thoughts' are appreciated and recognized and popular. I remember saying something to someone, and that person saying, "Wow, that's so deep. Did you think of that yourself?" What I had said, to me, was just common sense. Maybe I just used big words...? Anyway, the point is, your thoughts carry an influence. They influence your actions. Your words. Think on righteous things, and you will be led to commit righteous deeds. Think selflessly, and you will be selfless. Think on worldly things, like facebook, a new car, your appearance, and you will eventually place more value on these things than you should.
"We might also say that besides the recognition of the value of ideas and ideals and the yearning for purity, the neshama is the awareness that we are entitled to happiness in this world. Happiness comes when we are in step, in sync, with who we are supposed to be. The neshama knows that I am special, I have a unique calling, and I can be fulfilled and happy by being who I am supposed to be. I am not an accident. I was created with purpose by a Creator who intended me to be. I have meaning because I was meant to be."
Level 4
"The nefesh, the ruach, and the neshama are the 3 levels of soul known as inner lights, as the Kabbalah says. They illustrate our path from within, each to a greater degree. they are levels of consciousness about ourselves and the world, about Hashem. The next 2 levels of soul can be understood as outer lights. They encompass us. And to reach these higher levels, you really have to climb the ladder of yourself. The next level of soul is called chaya. Chaya is the collective soul. In this way you experience your individual self within the context of the collective self of your people. Because of chaya, you feel a need to love and be loved, to belong. Chaya generates the yearning to be a part of a greater community, the realization that as an individual, I really have no meaning unless I belong to a larger whole."
Again, I didn't really get into this chapter, and part of the reason was because we have already discussed some of these things. How we are all connected, how our actions have consequences, how you can be an example either way, etc. I understand why the author is teaching it, and perhaps that he is trying to reinforce the other concepts covered, to connect them all. That's great. But I'm not going to rewrite the concepts week after week. :P
Now, take a different look at it. Another reason the author may be teaching this chapter is to show that the concepts taught already are things we are driven about/towards because of these levels of our selves, of our souls. If that is the case, I can get through the rest of this chapter with greater interest.
Level 5
"The next level of soul is yechida, which is a sense of identification with the ultimate, the Universal Soul. Only the first human beings had this sense- before they were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. ...Yechida yearns to love Hashem as we are commanded, with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our might. ...We yearn to pulse withe the rhythm of Hashem. The soul cries out to bond with the All in All. And yet, despite this call of the soul, most seem to have a hard time hearing it. Why? Because the ego sends a lot of interference. The ego gives the self the false sense of independence, severed from any greater context, like the tuba player who wants to play solo. The key is self awareness- understanding who is the real you."
I see this level and level 3 as connecting more than the others. You have to understand who you are, place enough importance on yourself to give yourself meaning and purpose, and then you have to attain perspective. You have to see that though you are special, unique, etc., it is only because of Someone bigger than you. Realize who you are, and then WHERE you are. A friend of mine once said something about humility: Humility is only taking up as much space as you're supposed to. Don't put yourself down, don't degrade yourself and think less of who you are than you should. But don't try to be bigger than you are. Don't build a tower to the skies, riding on your ego. Know who you are, and recognize the space you take up with yourself. Is it too small? Is it too big?
Questions
1. What activities in your daily life do you consider meaningful? What makes them so?
Talking to Aaron- because I am building more of a relationship, growing close, learning more. Talking to my family- keeping informed and inside of my family's life makes me feel connected to a bigger picture. I also look to encourage and guide my siblings when I can. Practicing the piano- it pleases others when I play, so I want to play well. Working out- not taking health and strength for granted, and not wanting to be a burden in the future to my family and/or kids. Praying for Mr. Wells- to think of others in a selfless way, to be concerned because it affects someone you love, is very meaningful. Praying when I drive- I'm reminding myself that I am not only in my hands, and reminding Yahweh at the same time! ;) Praying for Aaron- I am devoting time to him even when he doesn't know it, voicing concerns on his behalf, praying for his day, for his rest, for his spirit. Going the extra mile, being cheerful when at work or out of the house- because to brighten someone's mood for only a moment is wonderful to me.
4. Can you identify a cause or ideal that you would be willing to sacrifice your life for? If so, why?
Family. I would die for any member of my family. For any member of Aaron's family. For any member of the LeCronier family. For lots of families. Because I could do a few things. 1. Save a life 2. Save others from a stronger grief 3. Let someone else reach their potential.
Family is a cause, one I believe in wholeheartedly. One that I see suffer almost daily at my job. And it saddens me to witness the ignored child, the depressed mother, the beaten-down father. Because it's a cycle. You generally raise your kids as you were raised. 'You marry your father'. Etc. If all strong families were wiped out, I honestly think it would be then that the world would truly be done.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Questions- Chapter 5
First, I will inform you that I will be taking a week off for this week's post. It has been a tiring week for me, and I have found it hard to keep track of what I am and am not doing for some reason. Just a bit frazzled. Also, this weekend is busy with the arrival of Father's Day AND my dad's birthday! Thus, we will resume next Saturday with chapter 6.
Question 1. Which aspects of you life are controlled by fate? Which aspects of your life are controlled by your choices?
The aspects controlled by fate are the aspects that happen to me, and aren't someone else's choice. I chose to go to court, the officer chose to not show up and then reschedule for later. It wasn't fate that I had to go back, it was the officer. Fate is that the officer just happened to be at the same intersection when I ran a yellow light.
I believe it was fate that after not seeing the Wells family in a very long time, some of them showed up at a hayride in Indiana where I was with friends. Aaron then chose to talk to me, and I chose to get to know him all over again.
It is very hard to pin point fate, while it is easy to see where I choose. Fate is not so obvious, and I don't believe we'd like it if it was.
Question 2. Can you recall a time where fate guided you toward a major choice?
I haven't made many major choices in my 20 years of life. I've bought 3 cars, I have had the same job since I was 17 (thankfully, I've moved up and so has the pay), I've fought one ticket, gone to school for a degree, and have been in 2 relationships. Not much to speak of there...
The biggest choice I've made thus far, when it comes to how long I thought about it and the whole process behind it, was to be with Aaron. And I do think fate had a heavy hand in that. The timing was amazing. We met while I was in my last month of being with Dan. Aaron knew me while I 'loved' Dan, Aaron helped me try to keep Dan and I together while we were crashing apart, and Aaron kept me level headed when it was over with. During a time in my life when a lot of new things were going on, starting school, driving more, more responsibilities at work, etc., Aaron was there with experience, understanding, patience, and stability. For 3 months or so, we were best friends. 1 and a half months in, Aaron told me that he had developed feelings for me. Obviously, after being dumped not too long ago, I was hesitant. I got to know him more, tested him, until I was positively sure. And then I decided. It has been the best decision.
Question 3. Can you recall times you led life?
I led my life in a great direction when I interviewed for a position at the library. It has been a wonderful and blessed 3 years there this August. I led my life in another new direction when I went to school. I've had to make choices, tough ones, and lose out on some fun, but it lends a great feeling of accomplishment. I have also led my life on a religious path, giving up even more than school demanded, and seeing even more benefits. I have led a blessed life.
Question 4. Can you recall when things went wrong but worked for the best in the end?
Of course! Everyone makes mistakes, everyone loses, and we must all learn. Everything is an opportunity for growth. Dan and I went wrong, but were supposed to. I lost in court, paid a fine, but... for some reason I don't know... the ticket isn't on my record (I'll fight from now on!) Aaron and I were late home this week because of an accident, but Aaron was the person needed to keep the hurt safe, and I was needed to call an ambulance. Others were there, but they weren't doing it.
Question 5. What do you think is your life mission?
At 20? My mission is to finish school, intern at a company, get a salaried job, get married, and at some point have kids to homeschool and raise up. As far as 1 thing? My mission is to be here for others. "The greatest thing in the world is to someone a favor." To listen, to learn from them, to help, to teach. One person can't make a difference worth anything if all are against him. They have to build eachother up. And raising kids will be like the final project in that. Building, molding, shaping, teaching, and even stepping back from. Part of them will be what I put into them, and that is amazing to me. From there, my children will continue to build others. That is my dream. Part of why I want children. To make this world a better place.
Question 1. Which aspects of you life are controlled by fate? Which aspects of your life are controlled by your choices?
The aspects controlled by fate are the aspects that happen to me, and aren't someone else's choice. I chose to go to court, the officer chose to not show up and then reschedule for later. It wasn't fate that I had to go back, it was the officer. Fate is that the officer just happened to be at the same intersection when I ran a yellow light.
I believe it was fate that after not seeing the Wells family in a very long time, some of them showed up at a hayride in Indiana where I was with friends. Aaron then chose to talk to me, and I chose to get to know him all over again.
It is very hard to pin point fate, while it is easy to see where I choose. Fate is not so obvious, and I don't believe we'd like it if it was.
Question 2. Can you recall a time where fate guided you toward a major choice?
I haven't made many major choices in my 20 years of life. I've bought 3 cars, I have had the same job since I was 17 (thankfully, I've moved up and so has the pay), I've fought one ticket, gone to school for a degree, and have been in 2 relationships. Not much to speak of there...
The biggest choice I've made thus far, when it comes to how long I thought about it and the whole process behind it, was to be with Aaron. And I do think fate had a heavy hand in that. The timing was amazing. We met while I was in my last month of being with Dan. Aaron knew me while I 'loved' Dan, Aaron helped me try to keep Dan and I together while we were crashing apart, and Aaron kept me level headed when it was over with. During a time in my life when a lot of new things were going on, starting school, driving more, more responsibilities at work, etc., Aaron was there with experience, understanding, patience, and stability. For 3 months or so, we were best friends. 1 and a half months in, Aaron told me that he had developed feelings for me. Obviously, after being dumped not too long ago, I was hesitant. I got to know him more, tested him, until I was positively sure. And then I decided. It has been the best decision.
Question 3. Can you recall times you led life?
I led my life in a great direction when I interviewed for a position at the library. It has been a wonderful and blessed 3 years there this August. I led my life in another new direction when I went to school. I've had to make choices, tough ones, and lose out on some fun, but it lends a great feeling of accomplishment. I have also led my life on a religious path, giving up even more than school demanded, and seeing even more benefits. I have led a blessed life.
Question 4. Can you recall when things went wrong but worked for the best in the end?
Of course! Everyone makes mistakes, everyone loses, and we must all learn. Everything is an opportunity for growth. Dan and I went wrong, but were supposed to. I lost in court, paid a fine, but... for some reason I don't know... the ticket isn't on my record (I'll fight from now on!) Aaron and I were late home this week because of an accident, but Aaron was the person needed to keep the hurt safe, and I was needed to call an ambulance. Others were there, but they weren't doing it.
Question 5. What do you think is your life mission?
At 20? My mission is to finish school, intern at a company, get a salaried job, get married, and at some point have kids to homeschool and raise up. As far as 1 thing? My mission is to be here for others. "The greatest thing in the world is to someone a favor." To listen, to learn from them, to help, to teach. One person can't make a difference worth anything if all are against him. They have to build eachother up. And raising kids will be like the final project in that. Building, molding, shaping, teaching, and even stepping back from. Part of them will be what I put into them, and that is amazing to me. From there, my children will continue to build others. That is my dream. Part of why I want children. To make this world a better place.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
You Pick-Chapter 5
The questions, once again, will come at a later time this coming week.
"Our world is a world of free will and free choice, and at the same time, paradoxically, it is a world that operates according to Hashem's plan. You see that paradox at work all the time. Sometimes it seems that you lead your life, but there are times when the only way you can describe it is to say that life leads you. ...Sometimes you feel that you got to where you are now because of choices you made. And sometimes you feel that no matter what choices you made, somehow you would have ended up where you are. Which feeling is closer to the truth?"
I've often wondered about fate, destiny, a path chosen for you before it's chosen by you. It's a strange thought, that we can be led around like puppets on strings. It makes you feel very small, yes? There is a problem with thinking like that, though. Yahweh created us with free will. He has given us choices, paths. He didn't want robots, He doesn't want puppets. So if we have free will, is there really fate? Can we be led by someone/thing other than ourselves?
The answer, in my opinion, is yes. But not like a puppet is led. A puppet has a master all the time, makes a choice at no time. Paths aren't presented to him. The kind of fate that we experience is like an offering. If Yah gives us choices to make with our free will, those choices are still not given to us by us. He selects them, and we choose. It has to be that one of them is the best for us, and that is the one Yahweh is hoping, but not always pushing us toward. We have free will to make the choices set before us, but only Yahweh can set those choices there. Thus, to some degree, I believe there is fate.
I've discussed this with my boyfriend, because of the word 'soulmate'. Aaron believes it's a pretty idea, but a false one. If there are millions, billions... a whole lot of men in the world, it would be dumb for only one of them to complete you; you might never find him. I've always laughed when someone says something like, "Out of all the women/men on this planet, why did you pick me?" Well duh, the first answer is, "I haven't met every single guy/girl on the planet!" I was presented with choices, not a smorgasbord. Out of my choices, I picked you. Of the choices, you were best. You complete me better than all of the others.
As for the other side, choice, there is a lot there. And it's not as simple.
Who you are is your choice. You caused or were part of a series of events, and who you are is how you responded and what you learned from those events. What role you choose for yourself on this earth is almost entirely up to you. You can be a good kid, or a bad kid. You can take charge or you can be led. You can fight against anything and everything, or you can let the world run you over. "Life is rather like a play written by a master playwright-- Hashem. The curtain is up, the scenery is in place. The number of acts has been decided. There will be a happy ending. What role do you choose to play? The hero? The villain? The protagonist? The antagonist? The victim? That is your choice." The thing of it is, no matter who you are, what role you pick, you are an example. This is the part beyond our control. You are always an example, whether you like it or not.
My dad said, "You can be a good example, or a bad example. You can show how to do something, or how not to do something, but you are still an example." You are still an actor, you still have a role, and Yahweh will use you as He wishes. It may not always be like you thought it would. The story of Esther shows us this:
As the story goes, Esther, who is secretly Jewish, has by a strange set of circumstances married the king of Persia. (Sounds like fate at work?) But soon after, the evil prime minister, Haman, decides to destroy the Jewish people. So Esther's uncle Mordechai says to her, "We've got to save the Jewish people. Perhaps God has orchestrated things in this very manner so that you could be queen and in a position to save the Jewish people." But Esther isn't convinced. She tells Mordechai, "You know the rules of the palace. If I go to the king without being invited, he could have me killed!" And to that Mordechai says something very bizarre. "If you don't do this, Esther, then the salvation of the Jewish people will come from someplace else." That certainly doesn't sound like the way you get somebody to do something. You would think Mordechai might have said, "Esther, if you don't do this, all the Jewish people will be killed. We may be wiped out and the very Torah might perish. This may be the end of everything!" That's the way to convince somebody who would rather not be convinced-- make them feel responsible, make them feel guilty. But Mordechai doesn't say anything like that. He tells Esther that if she doesn't save the Jewish people, somebody else will. And at that point Esther makes a choice and decides to do it. To make a long story short, it is Haman who ends up on the gallows, and the Jewish people are saved. It might seem like a very strange story, but the key message is hidden in the words Mordechai speaks to Esther. It is a very basic Kabbalistic idea: The evolution of the world of love will go on no matter what. But you have a choice. Do you want to have a role in it, or not? If you don't sign on, it will still happen. But you lose out. The world won't ultimately lose out, because someone else will do it. It has to happen and it will happen. But you can be the star-- or an extra on the set. That's your choice.
"...there are different ways to fulfill Hashem's plan. You can do it in a positive way, you can do it in a negative way, but in the end it will get done. And the irony is that the very person who tries to destroy Hashem's plan will be the one who actually brings about it's fulfillment." Yahweh has plans for you. Not a plan, because you can screw that up. Plans. And no matter if you accept them or not, you will still be moved around, used, to bring His end to fruition. You will be a good example, or a bad one. But an example you will be. That is fate. Which example you will be is up to you. That is your choice. Daily, that is everyone's choice.
"Our world is a world of free will and free choice, and at the same time, paradoxically, it is a world that operates according to Hashem's plan. You see that paradox at work all the time. Sometimes it seems that you lead your life, but there are times when the only way you can describe it is to say that life leads you. ...Sometimes you feel that you got to where you are now because of choices you made. And sometimes you feel that no matter what choices you made, somehow you would have ended up where you are. Which feeling is closer to the truth?"
I've often wondered about fate, destiny, a path chosen for you before it's chosen by you. It's a strange thought, that we can be led around like puppets on strings. It makes you feel very small, yes? There is a problem with thinking like that, though. Yahweh created us with free will. He has given us choices, paths. He didn't want robots, He doesn't want puppets. So if we have free will, is there really fate? Can we be led by someone/thing other than ourselves?
The answer, in my opinion, is yes. But not like a puppet is led. A puppet has a master all the time, makes a choice at no time. Paths aren't presented to him. The kind of fate that we experience is like an offering. If Yah gives us choices to make with our free will, those choices are still not given to us by us. He selects them, and we choose. It has to be that one of them is the best for us, and that is the one Yahweh is hoping, but not always pushing us toward. We have free will to make the choices set before us, but only Yahweh can set those choices there. Thus, to some degree, I believe there is fate.
I've discussed this with my boyfriend, because of the word 'soulmate'. Aaron believes it's a pretty idea, but a false one. If there are millions, billions... a whole lot of men in the world, it would be dumb for only one of them to complete you; you might never find him. I've always laughed when someone says something like, "Out of all the women/men on this planet, why did you pick me?" Well duh, the first answer is, "I haven't met every single guy/girl on the planet!" I was presented with choices, not a smorgasbord. Out of my choices, I picked you. Of the choices, you were best. You complete me better than all of the others.
As for the other side, choice, there is a lot there. And it's not as simple.
Who you are is your choice. You caused or were part of a series of events, and who you are is how you responded and what you learned from those events. What role you choose for yourself on this earth is almost entirely up to you. You can be a good kid, or a bad kid. You can take charge or you can be led. You can fight against anything and everything, or you can let the world run you over. "Life is rather like a play written by a master playwright-- Hashem. The curtain is up, the scenery is in place. The number of acts has been decided. There will be a happy ending. What role do you choose to play? The hero? The villain? The protagonist? The antagonist? The victim? That is your choice." The thing of it is, no matter who you are, what role you pick, you are an example. This is the part beyond our control. You are always an example, whether you like it or not.
My dad said, "You can be a good example, or a bad example. You can show how to do something, or how not to do something, but you are still an example." You are still an actor, you still have a role, and Yahweh will use you as He wishes. It may not always be like you thought it would. The story of Esther shows us this:
As the story goes, Esther, who is secretly Jewish, has by a strange set of circumstances married the king of Persia. (Sounds like fate at work?) But soon after, the evil prime minister, Haman, decides to destroy the Jewish people. So Esther's uncle Mordechai says to her, "We've got to save the Jewish people. Perhaps God has orchestrated things in this very manner so that you could be queen and in a position to save the Jewish people." But Esther isn't convinced. She tells Mordechai, "You know the rules of the palace. If I go to the king without being invited, he could have me killed!" And to that Mordechai says something very bizarre. "If you don't do this, Esther, then the salvation of the Jewish people will come from someplace else." That certainly doesn't sound like the way you get somebody to do something. You would think Mordechai might have said, "Esther, if you don't do this, all the Jewish people will be killed. We may be wiped out and the very Torah might perish. This may be the end of everything!" That's the way to convince somebody who would rather not be convinced-- make them feel responsible, make them feel guilty. But Mordechai doesn't say anything like that. He tells Esther that if she doesn't save the Jewish people, somebody else will. And at that point Esther makes a choice and decides to do it. To make a long story short, it is Haman who ends up on the gallows, and the Jewish people are saved. It might seem like a very strange story, but the key message is hidden in the words Mordechai speaks to Esther. It is a very basic Kabbalistic idea: The evolution of the world of love will go on no matter what. But you have a choice. Do you want to have a role in it, or not? If you don't sign on, it will still happen. But you lose out. The world won't ultimately lose out, because someone else will do it. It has to happen and it will happen. But you can be the star-- or an extra on the set. That's your choice.
"...there are different ways to fulfill Hashem's plan. You can do it in a positive way, you can do it in a negative way, but in the end it will get done. And the irony is that the very person who tries to destroy Hashem's plan will be the one who actually brings about it's fulfillment." Yahweh has plans for you. Not a plan, because you can screw that up. Plans. And no matter if you accept them or not, you will still be moved around, used, to bring His end to fruition. You will be a good example, or a bad one. But an example you will be. That is fate. Which example you will be is up to you. That is your choice. Daily, that is everyone's choice.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Questions- Chapter 4
Question 1. Can you recall conflicts in yourself and in your life that have propelled you forward? Which conflicting energies are tearing you apart?
Conflicts in myself and my life...that propelled me forward. Hard question, and it's only half the question.
Conflict one- Being dumped by Dan was a conflict in my life schedule. I only wanted to be with one guy, I wanted it to work, I didn't want to be alone. That conflict helped me learn that life can't have a schedule, that not everything works, but that most works for your good.
Conflict two- Telling my parents a big secret and hearing them tell it to others. Though it was really hard to tell them, though I was hurt and scared and lost some trust for a while, bringing it in the open and hearing other perspectives decreased my fear and made me move on. I needed to move on.
Conflict three- New manager, new coworkers, I apparently made 'foes' from the get-go. After trying to resolve things through management... I learned that managers don't necessarily care if everyone gets along as long as everyone does their job, that employees will say one thing to the boss and another to coworkers, and that no matter how upset I get as what others do... I have my own rules and standards, and I have to do the right thing. Others may use different rules, but I was and am proud that I went through the right channels. It taught me more about office politics. I will need that knowledge for a while.
The second half of the question has had several sets of answers for a long time. Right now, though, I have 2 hands. 1 is holding what I want- to get married SOON. The other is holding what I have to do- wait. I feel as if I am at a stand still, in school all the time, same job for three years, in a relationship for a year and 5 months... everything keeps going and it's hard to see when it will change. Another take is that I want to move in one direction. I want to graduate, get a job, get married. All the wile, I have opportunities to expand, not just move on. I'm like water from the faucet, I come out, go down. That's all, one direction. I should be like... an egg you just cracked. :-P Moving and expanding in all directions. I can be too focused, and miss things, or not want to do things because I need to do one thing.
Question 2. When do your strengths turn into weaknesses?
When I take over so much that I disregard other people, I am using my leadership, but it turns into control. When I give advice when asked and am upset if 1. they don't do it or 2. listen to someone else, I am using perceptiveness, knowledge, wisdom, encouragement, and turning into control. When I have my standards and am upset others aren't like me, I am true to my rules, but projecting them on others. ... etc.
Question 4. Do you feel you have any fears and phobias holding you back from growing?
As discussed earlier, I was putting off training because of some fears. I know I have a lot of fears and a lot of growing to do, but doing to training while increasing directional and driving confidence is one I plan on tackling as soon as class ends and I have 2 open days in the week (in 2 1/2 weeks).
Most of the fear preventing things is my fear involved in driving. Thus, I have begun to address this fear.
Question 5. Can you recall accomplishments that when realized were immediately overshadowed by new yearnings?
In school, when I get a good grade, I think of the next project or test that I want a good grade on. When I finish a piano piece, I move on to another one to finish. When I baked my first cheesecake, I wanted to bake a different kind. I view this more as increasing a skill, not a new yearning. I think I am one to relax and enjoy for a while what I have done, then move on to something else. Not immediately.
Question 6. Which of the guiding principles are dominant in your life?
The 6 guides are gevurah: justice, control, holding back, maintaining borders, selfishness chesod: kindness, unrestrained giving, spontaneity, undisciplined extension of self tiferet: beauty, balance, harmony hod: submission, retreat, surrender netzach: conquest, victory, assertion yesod: peace, grounding
These 6 work as a triad, with the first 3 completing each other, as well as the last 3. Gevurah and chesod need tiferet, hod and netzach need yesod. You can't just have chesod and gevurah; you will be two people, torn by two energies. You need or other the other with tiferet; the same goes for hod and netzach. A person needs the compliment in order to be a balanced and healthy personality. Unfortunately, the one I see most in myself is gevurah.
Question 7. Which principles of life do you need to reinforce to feel more balanced?
I need tiferet for my control, and yesod to help with the hod; the fear. Tiferet for my relationships with people and yesod for myself.
Conflicts in myself and my life...that propelled me forward. Hard question, and it's only half the question.
Conflict one- Being dumped by Dan was a conflict in my life schedule. I only wanted to be with one guy, I wanted it to work, I didn't want to be alone. That conflict helped me learn that life can't have a schedule, that not everything works, but that most works for your good.
Conflict two- Telling my parents a big secret and hearing them tell it to others. Though it was really hard to tell them, though I was hurt and scared and lost some trust for a while, bringing it in the open and hearing other perspectives decreased my fear and made me move on. I needed to move on.
Conflict three- New manager, new coworkers, I apparently made 'foes' from the get-go. After trying to resolve things through management... I learned that managers don't necessarily care if everyone gets along as long as everyone does their job, that employees will say one thing to the boss and another to coworkers, and that no matter how upset I get as what others do... I have my own rules and standards, and I have to do the right thing. Others may use different rules, but I was and am proud that I went through the right channels. It taught me more about office politics. I will need that knowledge for a while.
The second half of the question has had several sets of answers for a long time. Right now, though, I have 2 hands. 1 is holding what I want- to get married SOON. The other is holding what I have to do- wait. I feel as if I am at a stand still, in school all the time, same job for three years, in a relationship for a year and 5 months... everything keeps going and it's hard to see when it will change. Another take is that I want to move in one direction. I want to graduate, get a job, get married. All the wile, I have opportunities to expand, not just move on. I'm like water from the faucet, I come out, go down. That's all, one direction. I should be like... an egg you just cracked. :-P Moving and expanding in all directions. I can be too focused, and miss things, or not want to do things because I need to do one thing.
Question 2. When do your strengths turn into weaknesses?
When I take over so much that I disregard other people, I am using my leadership, but it turns into control. When I give advice when asked and am upset if 1. they don't do it or 2. listen to someone else, I am using perceptiveness, knowledge, wisdom, encouragement, and turning into control. When I have my standards and am upset others aren't like me, I am true to my rules, but projecting them on others. ... etc.
Question 4. Do you feel you have any fears and phobias holding you back from growing?
As discussed earlier, I was putting off training because of some fears. I know I have a lot of fears and a lot of growing to do, but doing to training while increasing directional and driving confidence is one I plan on tackling as soon as class ends and I have 2 open days in the week (in 2 1/2 weeks).
Most of the fear preventing things is my fear involved in driving. Thus, I have begun to address this fear.
Question 5. Can you recall accomplishments that when realized were immediately overshadowed by new yearnings?
In school, when I get a good grade, I think of the next project or test that I want a good grade on. When I finish a piano piece, I move on to another one to finish. When I baked my first cheesecake, I wanted to bake a different kind. I view this more as increasing a skill, not a new yearning. I think I am one to relax and enjoy for a while what I have done, then move on to something else. Not immediately.
Question 6. Which of the guiding principles are dominant in your life?
The 6 guides are gevurah: justice, control, holding back, maintaining borders, selfishness chesod: kindness, unrestrained giving, spontaneity, undisciplined extension of self tiferet: beauty, balance, harmony hod: submission, retreat, surrender netzach: conquest, victory, assertion yesod: peace, grounding
These 6 work as a triad, with the first 3 completing each other, as well as the last 3. Gevurah and chesod need tiferet, hod and netzach need yesod. You can't just have chesod and gevurah; you will be two people, torn by two energies. You need or other the other with tiferet; the same goes for hod and netzach. A person needs the compliment in order to be a balanced and healthy personality. Unfortunately, the one I see most in myself is gevurah.
Question 7. Which principles of life do you need to reinforce to feel more balanced?
I need tiferet for my control, and yesod to help with the hod; the fear. Tiferet for my relationships with people and yesod for myself.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Be a Better You- Chapter 4
The questions and answers will come at a later date.
"The most complete world for man is an incomplete world where he can be a partner in it's completion. This imperfect world is the perfect setting for challenge, growth, and love. Each day we encounter the forces of chaos and darkness within the world and within ourselves. And each day we are offered the opportunity to become Hashem's creative partner in bringing order, harmony, and light to the world and ourselves-- mending the broken vessels."
Self-improvement. Oy. I try always to be a better person, but when it comes to challenges... I don't seek those out, and I generally am nervous about them.
I am afraid of a lot of things, some of them silly. I have a phobia, I guess, that I'll have to find the name of; I am afraid of swimming in small lakes, ponds, etc., because of fish and seaweed. I mean really afraid. I don't like not seeing below my feet or even to the bottom. I know there are things in the water, they know I'm in the water, but they can see me, and I can't see them. I hate that. Since my accidents and getting an older car, I'm nervous about driving at speeds over 50 mph (don't worry, I haven't been on the highway for a while). I also have a bad sense of direction, so I don't usually go somewhere I don't know the way to. Esp. if that place is downtown. Because I hate parking downtown. Parking ramp, right? Wrong. I can't stand riding in a car in those, and I've never navigated one myself.
Because of my fears of driving downtown and parking there, I am putting off an opportunity. In the library system, we aids now have to complete a series of trainings to get a series of raises. But the training, to my knowledge, is at the Central location... which is really downtown. Oy.
The funny thing about some of my fears is that part of me knows I'd be ok. That everyone does it, I could do it, it's not a big deal. But I unrationalize it (I made that up) and then I'm stuck. Again.
Usually, a challenge happens to me. Like fighting a ticket, and going to court. I hyperventilated the night before first going. Because it was so new, I didn't know what to expect, and I don't handle that well. I actually had to go twice. I lost, but I was proud later that I had done it, and done well in court.
These challenges aren't challenging to everyone. If everyone had the same set of challenges, some would have an easy life, and others would be so buried they couldn't breathe The challenge is only that to you, and only you can overcome it and have the satisfaction of scoring a goal.
My challenges are because of past experience, or lack of experience. It was a challenge to go to college because I was home-schooled. It might be a challenge being in the workforce, because I will be have been in school for 15 years or so; it will be a whole new ball game. Life is like that.
I was fortunate to be listening to a conversation on Thursday that took place between my Dad and a man we refer to as Denis the Church Menace (don't worry, he likes it). They were talking about challenges, and how some people will say, "That's it! I'm done. I have overcome all temptations, and will never be tempted again!" They said that would be sad. Jokingly, 'shoot me now' was said, because life isn't worth living if there's nothing to overcome. When we win out over a temptation, we are glorifying Yahweh. We need to be tempted, we need to have challenges in order to give glory to Yah.
Just as some challenges aren't so to some, not everyone is tempted by the same things. I work in an environment where it would be easy to steal money bits at a time, or books, or personal belongings. But I don't even consider it, because it's not a temptation. When one of my siblings asks me something, and I'm in a hurry, or Mom wants something done, or I drop something on the way out the door... it's so tempting to say 'no', and keep walking. My time is more important. Being at work 8 minutes early is so important. When I stop, turn around, talk, listen, pick something up, that is overcoming a temptation. I put others, my family of all people, before myself. Not stealing at work, sure, I guess it could make Him happy, but it doesn't give Him glory. Stopping in my busy day to care, that does.
Now, when we give in to temptation, it's a sin, yes? Sure it is. We were supposed to do something else, and didn't. That's sin. We were supposed to give Yah glory, and didn't. That's sin. But 'sin' isn't what we all believe it to be. It's not this terrible thing that will send you to hell unless you repent. It's missing. To miss the target. I will use the author's words: "Het is a Hebrew word that is often mistranslated as 'sin'. But 'sin', like the word 'God', has been so distorted through time that it brings up all sorts of erroneous associations-- the devil, hellfire, damnation. So let me define the word in the context of the Torah. Het has its own original meaning with no adequate translation in English. But I learned exactly what it means while I was taking a stroll in Jerusalem one Sunday afternoon. I was walking along, chatting with my wife, when I heard from afar a thousand voices shouting, 'Het! Het! Het!' I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, imagining that perhaps some sort of religious sect was holding a revival meeting nearby. But then I realized that we had come near a soccer stadium, and it was the fans in the bleachers who were yelling, 'Het! Het!'
In soccer, that's what you yell when someone's missed the goal. Het! Het! means nothing more than 'Miss! Miss!' And that's precisely how the Torah defines sin. You're off the mark. You haven't hit the goal."
That's not to say that sin is good, or ok, or whatever. It's a way to say, 'Well, missed that shot, give me another ball and we'll go again.' When you miss something, you generally try until you get it. Basketball, baseball, archery, hockey, etc. Any sport. What do you call those who give up? The Detroit Lions. Just kidding. We call them quitters. They didn't lose, not that one person. They aren't a loser. When they gave up, the whole team lost. The person said forget it, got frustrated, gave up, and the team suffered the consequences.
"A word in a sentence may have a meaning assigned to it in a dictionary, but to communicate something truly meaningful, individual words have to be harmoniously integrated within a sentence, which is harmoniously integrated within the rest of the paragraph, within the chapter, within the book. ... The same is true of individual beings. We must have context to lead a truly meaningful life. ... You must see yourself as part of a greater whole." When we give up, give in, we aren't the only ones that lose. Because we are all together. You are part of a whole. A family, a circle of friends, a company, etc. You bring others down with you. You literally 'let them down'. In a symphony, you need all the instruments playing correctly. If one person plays off key, the person next to them is perhaps confused enough to follow, and suddenly people are hearing a different key and switch and everything is ruined. When one child is setting a bad example, a sibling may follow, then another, and the whole family is sliding downhill. At work, when one person doesn't do their job.... You get the picture.
And the picture, if everyone is playing on key, working, being a good example, is beautiful. When we see that we are part of a greater whole, that the world isn't on one pair of shoulders, that we have a group of supporters, team members, etc. ... it's a wonderful feeling. When we overcome 1 challenge, when we don't give in to a single temptation, we shed a light, spread a smile, set an example that reaches all the way to Yahweh. We give Him glory, for "Who you are is God's gift to you; who you become is your gift to God."
"The most complete world for man is an incomplete world where he can be a partner in it's completion. This imperfect world is the perfect setting for challenge, growth, and love. Each day we encounter the forces of chaos and darkness within the world and within ourselves. And each day we are offered the opportunity to become Hashem's creative partner in bringing order, harmony, and light to the world and ourselves-- mending the broken vessels."
Self-improvement. Oy. I try always to be a better person, but when it comes to challenges... I don't seek those out, and I generally am nervous about them.
I am afraid of a lot of things, some of them silly. I have a phobia, I guess, that I'll have to find the name of; I am afraid of swimming in small lakes, ponds, etc., because of fish and seaweed. I mean really afraid. I don't like not seeing below my feet or even to the bottom. I know there are things in the water, they know I'm in the water, but they can see me, and I can't see them. I hate that. Since my accidents and getting an older car, I'm nervous about driving at speeds over 50 mph (don't worry, I haven't been on the highway for a while). I also have a bad sense of direction, so I don't usually go somewhere I don't know the way to. Esp. if that place is downtown. Because I hate parking downtown. Parking ramp, right? Wrong. I can't stand riding in a car in those, and I've never navigated one myself.
Because of my fears of driving downtown and parking there, I am putting off an opportunity. In the library system, we aids now have to complete a series of trainings to get a series of raises. But the training, to my knowledge, is at the Central location... which is really downtown. Oy.
The funny thing about some of my fears is that part of me knows I'd be ok. That everyone does it, I could do it, it's not a big deal. But I unrationalize it (I made that up) and then I'm stuck. Again.
Usually, a challenge happens to me. Like fighting a ticket, and going to court. I hyperventilated the night before first going. Because it was so new, I didn't know what to expect, and I don't handle that well. I actually had to go twice. I lost, but I was proud later that I had done it, and done well in court.
These challenges aren't challenging to everyone. If everyone had the same set of challenges, some would have an easy life, and others would be so buried they couldn't breathe The challenge is only that to you, and only you can overcome it and have the satisfaction of scoring a goal.
My challenges are because of past experience, or lack of experience. It was a challenge to go to college because I was home-schooled. It might be a challenge being in the workforce, because I will be have been in school for 15 years or so; it will be a whole new ball game. Life is like that.
I was fortunate to be listening to a conversation on Thursday that took place between my Dad and a man we refer to as Denis the Church Menace (don't worry, he likes it). They were talking about challenges, and how some people will say, "That's it! I'm done. I have overcome all temptations, and will never be tempted again!" They said that would be sad. Jokingly, 'shoot me now' was said, because life isn't worth living if there's nothing to overcome. When we win out over a temptation, we are glorifying Yahweh. We need to be tempted, we need to have challenges in order to give glory to Yah.
Just as some challenges aren't so to some, not everyone is tempted by the same things. I work in an environment where it would be easy to steal money bits at a time, or books, or personal belongings. But I don't even consider it, because it's not a temptation. When one of my siblings asks me something, and I'm in a hurry, or Mom wants something done, or I drop something on the way out the door... it's so tempting to say 'no', and keep walking. My time is more important. Being at work 8 minutes early is so important. When I stop, turn around, talk, listen, pick something up, that is overcoming a temptation. I put others, my family of all people, before myself. Not stealing at work, sure, I guess it could make Him happy, but it doesn't give Him glory. Stopping in my busy day to care, that does.
Now, when we give in to temptation, it's a sin, yes? Sure it is. We were supposed to do something else, and didn't. That's sin. We were supposed to give Yah glory, and didn't. That's sin. But 'sin' isn't what we all believe it to be. It's not this terrible thing that will send you to hell unless you repent. It's missing. To miss the target. I will use the author's words: "Het is a Hebrew word that is often mistranslated as 'sin'. But 'sin', like the word 'God', has been so distorted through time that it brings up all sorts of erroneous associations-- the devil, hellfire, damnation. So let me define the word in the context of the Torah. Het has its own original meaning with no adequate translation in English. But I learned exactly what it means while I was taking a stroll in Jerusalem one Sunday afternoon. I was walking along, chatting with my wife, when I heard from afar a thousand voices shouting, 'Het! Het! Het!' I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, imagining that perhaps some sort of religious sect was holding a revival meeting nearby. But then I realized that we had come near a soccer stadium, and it was the fans in the bleachers who were yelling, 'Het! Het!'
In soccer, that's what you yell when someone's missed the goal. Het! Het! means nothing more than 'Miss! Miss!' And that's precisely how the Torah defines sin. You're off the mark. You haven't hit the goal."
That's not to say that sin is good, or ok, or whatever. It's a way to say, 'Well, missed that shot, give me another ball and we'll go again.' When you miss something, you generally try until you get it. Basketball, baseball, archery, hockey, etc. Any sport. What do you call those who give up? The Detroit Lions. Just kidding. We call them quitters. They didn't lose, not that one person. They aren't a loser. When they gave up, the whole team lost. The person said forget it, got frustrated, gave up, and the team suffered the consequences.
"A word in a sentence may have a meaning assigned to it in a dictionary, but to communicate something truly meaningful, individual words have to be harmoniously integrated within a sentence, which is harmoniously integrated within the rest of the paragraph, within the chapter, within the book. ... The same is true of individual beings. We must have context to lead a truly meaningful life. ... You must see yourself as part of a greater whole." When we give up, give in, we aren't the only ones that lose. Because we are all together. You are part of a whole. A family, a circle of friends, a company, etc. You bring others down with you. You literally 'let them down'. In a symphony, you need all the instruments playing correctly. If one person plays off key, the person next to them is perhaps confused enough to follow, and suddenly people are hearing a different key and switch and everything is ruined. When one child is setting a bad example, a sibling may follow, then another, and the whole family is sliding downhill. At work, when one person doesn't do their job.... You get the picture.
And the picture, if everyone is playing on key, working, being a good example, is beautiful. When we see that we are part of a greater whole, that the world isn't on one pair of shoulders, that we have a group of supporters, team members, etc. ... it's a wonderful feeling. When we overcome 1 challenge, when we don't give in to a single temptation, we shed a light, spread a smile, set an example that reaches all the way to Yahweh. We give Him glory, for "Who you are is God's gift to you; who you become is your gift to God."
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