The questions and answers will come at a later date.
"The most complete world for man is an incomplete world where he can be a partner in it's completion. This imperfect world is the perfect setting for challenge, growth, and love. Each day we encounter the forces of chaos and darkness within the world and within ourselves. And each day we are offered the opportunity to become Hashem's creative partner in bringing order, harmony, and light to the world and ourselves-- mending the broken vessels."
Self-improvement. Oy. I try always to be a better person, but when it comes to challenges... I don't seek those out, and I generally am nervous about them.
I am afraid of a lot of things, some of them silly. I have a phobia, I guess, that I'll have to find the name of; I am afraid of swimming in small lakes, ponds, etc., because of fish and seaweed. I mean really afraid. I don't like not seeing below my feet or even to the bottom. I know there are things in the water, they know I'm in the water, but they can see me, and I can't see them. I hate that. Since my accidents and getting an older car, I'm nervous about driving at speeds over 50 mph (don't worry, I haven't been on the highway for a while). I also have a bad sense of direction, so I don't usually go somewhere I don't know the way to. Esp. if that place is downtown. Because I hate parking downtown. Parking ramp, right? Wrong. I can't stand riding in a car in those, and I've never navigated one myself.
Because of my fears of driving downtown and parking there, I am putting off an opportunity. In the library system, we aids now have to complete a series of trainings to get a series of raises. But the training, to my knowledge, is at the Central location... which is really downtown. Oy.
The funny thing about some of my fears is that part of me knows I'd be ok. That everyone does it, I could do it, it's not a big deal. But I unrationalize it (I made that up) and then I'm stuck. Again.
Usually, a challenge happens to me. Like fighting a ticket, and going to court. I hyperventilated the night before first going. Because it was so new, I didn't know what to expect, and I don't handle that well. I actually had to go twice. I lost, but I was proud later that I had done it, and done well in court.
These challenges aren't challenging to everyone. If everyone had the same set of challenges, some would have an easy life, and others would be so buried they couldn't breathe The challenge is only that to you, and only you can overcome it and have the satisfaction of scoring a goal.
My challenges are because of past experience, or lack of experience. It was a challenge to go to college because I was home-schooled. It might be a challenge being in the workforce, because I will be have been in school for 15 years or so; it will be a whole new ball game. Life is like that.
I was fortunate to be listening to a conversation on Thursday that took place between my Dad and a man we refer to as Denis the Church Menace (don't worry, he likes it). They were talking about challenges, and how some people will say, "That's it! I'm done. I have overcome all temptations, and will never be tempted again!" They said that would be sad. Jokingly, 'shoot me now' was said, because life isn't worth living if there's nothing to overcome. When we win out over a temptation, we are glorifying Yahweh. We need to be tempted, we need to have challenges in order to give glory to Yah.
Just as some challenges aren't so to some, not everyone is tempted by the same things. I work in an environment where it would be easy to steal money bits at a time, or books, or personal belongings. But I don't even consider it, because it's not a temptation. When one of my siblings asks me something, and I'm in a hurry, or Mom wants something done, or I drop something on the way out the door... it's so tempting to say 'no', and keep walking. My time is more important. Being at work 8 minutes early is so important. When I stop, turn around, talk, listen, pick something up, that is overcoming a temptation. I put others, my family of all people, before myself. Not stealing at work, sure, I guess it could make Him happy, but it doesn't give Him glory. Stopping in my busy day to care, that does.
Now, when we give in to temptation, it's a sin, yes? Sure it is. We were supposed to do something else, and didn't. That's sin. We were supposed to give Yah glory, and didn't. That's sin. But 'sin' isn't what we all believe it to be. It's not this terrible thing that will send you to hell unless you repent. It's missing. To miss the target. I will use the author's words: "Het is a Hebrew word that is often mistranslated as 'sin'. But 'sin', like the word 'God', has been so distorted through time that it brings up all sorts of erroneous associations-- the devil, hellfire, damnation. So let me define the word in the context of the Torah. Het has its own original meaning with no adequate translation in English. But I learned exactly what it means while I was taking a stroll in Jerusalem one Sunday afternoon. I was walking along, chatting with my wife, when I heard from afar a thousand voices shouting, 'Het! Het! Het!' I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, imagining that perhaps some sort of religious sect was holding a revival meeting nearby. But then I realized that we had come near a soccer stadium, and it was the fans in the bleachers who were yelling, 'Het! Het!'
In soccer, that's what you yell when someone's missed the goal. Het! Het! means nothing more than 'Miss! Miss!' And that's precisely how the Torah defines sin. You're off the mark. You haven't hit the goal."
That's not to say that sin is good, or ok, or whatever. It's a way to say, 'Well, missed that shot, give me another ball and we'll go again.' When you miss something, you generally try until you get it. Basketball, baseball, archery, hockey, etc. Any sport. What do you call those who give up? The Detroit Lions. Just kidding. We call them quitters. They didn't lose, not that one person. They aren't a loser. When they gave up, the whole team lost. The person said forget it, got frustrated, gave up, and the team suffered the consequences.
"A word in a sentence may have a meaning assigned to it in a dictionary, but to communicate something truly meaningful, individual words have to be harmoniously integrated within a sentence, which is harmoniously integrated within the rest of the paragraph, within the chapter, within the book. ... The same is true of individual beings. We must have context to lead a truly meaningful life. ... You must see yourself as part of a greater whole." When we give up, give in, we aren't the only ones that lose. Because we are all together. You are part of a whole. A family, a circle of friends, a company, etc. You bring others down with you. You literally 'let them down'. In a symphony, you need all the instruments playing correctly. If one person plays off key, the person next to them is perhaps confused enough to follow, and suddenly people are hearing a different key and switch and everything is ruined. When one child is setting a bad example, a sibling may follow, then another, and the whole family is sliding downhill. At work, when one person doesn't do their job.... You get the picture.
And the picture, if everyone is playing on key, working, being a good example, is beautiful. When we see that we are part of a greater whole, that the world isn't on one pair of shoulders, that we have a group of supporters, team members, etc. ... it's a wonderful feeling. When we overcome 1 challenge, when we don't give in to a single temptation, we shed a light, spread a smile, set an example that reaches all the way to Yahweh. We give Him glory, for "Who you are is God's gift to you; who you become is your gift to God."
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