I recently took my sisters to an audition for the play 'Pride and Prejudice'. The next day, I logged on to the social network of Facebook to see that I had a friend request. It was from a young man that had been at the audition the day before, and I was surprised to receive it because we hadn't spoken and weren't acquainted. However, I accepted it, since I was going to be taking my siblings to rehearsals, and perhaps we could get to know each other. I was wrong; my mother took my sisters to play practices. Though I never met him, I now “know” him, because we have chatted a handful of times. In person, I realize that he wouldn't have said half of the things he typed to me, but this is just one of the ways that it is evident that people seem to be more comfortable in having online relationships than they are in real life interactions and conversation. With today's social networks, we have instant contact, instant dating, and instant personal makeovers.
Immediate and public conversations have their drawbacks. Anyone on your friend list
and anyone on the other person's friend list can see what you're saying, what you've
commented, and what the other person has as well. Not only can they read your words, they can respond to you, whether they know you or not. In some cases, a stranger will repeatedly talk to you on a mutual friend's wall, and will eventually just ask to friend you themselves. Hoping to eliminate the middle man, you accept and end up talking to someone you have never met, and, in most cases, never will. This has happened to me several times, the most recent being last fall. I now know the details of a certain young man's life in Texas. I don't know if it's something about females, being a stranger, or if it's just me, but every time I've gotten to know someone on a more personal basis through just the internet, they are always more comfortable in telling me secrets, opening up their inmost thoughts, and confessing sins to me. With the Texan, to illustrate, in a few weeks I was his constant support. In a few more, cell phone numbers were exchanged and he would text me every day, asking what to do in different situations. Another young man that I had known a long while ago and got back together with over the internet, I helped quit smoking. In every case, these strangers say, “I don't know why I'm telling you this...”. There is something about speaking with a person that doesn't know you or your past, that can't judge your daily actions, that isn't biased enough to give one sided advice. Apparently, it's addicting, and it's freeing; obviously, it's easier.
In talking online to random people, there is also a chance that one of you starts to have an interest in the other. I can't count on two hands how many times I've been asked out by an online stranger, whether we were 'friends' or not. For example, my first serious relationship was with a guy I had met once and then got to know online. Of course, it never really progressed, because he was used to the ease of just being 'together' online or in text and I wanted real life interactions. We saw each other perhaps 8 times, maybe less, and were only together for about 4 months. However, I have had my share of letting boys down as well. Every time, I'm taken aback by how casually they take asking someone out online compared to when I've been asked out by boys of the same circle face-to-face. There isn't such a need to build up courage, there isn't such a loss or embarrassment, as there is in person. Online, it's also much easier to keep talking to someone after the let down, or even the agreed date, because you can always be at the same place at the same time. No need meet up, worry over schedules, or even gas prices. No need to worry about how you look, how you sound, how you act. The virtual world is just plain easier.
Online, you can pick and choose how you want to seem. In typing, no one can tell if you have a speech impediment, or how long it takes you to get across what you're trying to say. You can choose who you are going to talk to, who you are going to ignore. What people see of you is in your hands in the pictures and videos you put up and allow others to tag you in. In effect, you can portray yourself as you always wanted to, even change who are you entirely, and no one would know. I've met people in person and then became friends with them on facebook, and have been quite surprised at how different some people paint themselves when it's under more of their own control. Some classmates of mine, that I have had one-on-one conversations with, are utterly unrecognizable in who they have created as their internet alter-egos. Online, either everyone knows you, or nobody does.
As the internet access on various devices continues to rise, people will no longer need to know how to socialize. There are already online colleges, classes, counseling programs, shopping sites, etc. It won't take long before you won't need to leave your house for anything. The web-cam will ensure that you see your loved ones. Businesses are constantly and continuously buying into the idea of online consumers, and why wouldn't they? The flesh and blood world isn't the place to be anymore. Welcome to cyberspace.
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